Anti-Resolutions 2016

RESOLUTION: EAT LESS SUGAR Anti-Resolution: A $3K Ice Cream Sundae Here’s a resolution for you: never eat an ice cream sundae again without a private string cello performance. Even better if that sundae’s topped with syrups made from three rare dessert wines. And costs more than three grand. Three Twins will happily oblige all of the above, by the way.

RESOLUTION: DRINK LESS Anti-Resolution: Bone Marrow Luges Taking shots may be a bit questionable in most situations. But not taking shots when they’re served luge-style from a bone that was holding some smoked bone marrow that you just drank is… well, it’s unacceptable.

RESOLUTION: JOIN A GYM Anti-Resolution: Join This Clubhouse Instead of joining a gym, maybe you should join the secret, members-only clubhouse behind the scoreboard at AT&T Park instead. It’s where you’ll find a bunch of old-school Giants memorabilia, a bowling alley and cocktails with baseball-shaped ice cubes in them. It was that or “circular” ice cubes.

RESOLUTION: BE ACTIVE IN NATURE Anti-Resolution: Do Nothing in Nature Big Sur is known for its beautiful redwood forests, rigorous backpacking opportunities and some pretty great surf. The Surf & Stay package at the Post Ranch Inn is known for its champagne, nine-course dinner and ocean-view house with a private hot tub. But you’re here to surf, remember?

RESOLUTION: MAKE SOUND INVESTMENTS Anti-Resolution: So Much Fancy Barware Your 401(k). Tesla stock. Sound investments, all. But you know what else is? Custom-designed barware collections featuring $2,250 wooden boxes filled with glasses and tools, a $2,600 bar cart and all of the high-end spirits you can imagine from the Bank at Wingtip.