Never weekend on an empty stomach.
FROM PERKS
For somebody, today is going to be the day they treat themselves to a vintage 18K-gold Rolex or an Omega Seamaster or a Cartier watch with a perfectly weathered leather strap. And to that person, we say… “Damn,” and then probably text them that thumbs-up emoji.
GO WEST
See that burger to your left? Yeah, that one. It’s a Monte Cristo burger with prosciutto, gruyère fondue and a vanilla-custard-soaked, deep-fried bun. Oh, and it’s available right this moment at the just-opened West Loop location of Umami Burger. You’re so very welcome.
IT’S A PAD, PAD, PAD, PAD WORLD
You could always use another BYOB place where they throw a bunch of spicy Cajun seafood in a bag for your and your friend’s unabashed feasting pleasure. Especially when that place also has garlic noodles, fried calamari and cookies-and-cream popsicles. Such is the case with the Crab Pad. Hence, these words.
DON’T KILL THE MESSENGER
This weekend, Timbuk2 is taking up to 70% off their particularly dapper messengers, totes and backpacks. So apologize to your old bag. Tell the thing it’s done a good job holding your stuff. That it’s not it, it’s you. Or do literally nothing because bags don’t have feelings.
LIKE A VIRGIN
Two Lollapalooza-related shows/parties are happening at the Virgin Hotel’s rooftop bar on Sunday. So…
If you’re not going to Lolla: You can dance to Questlove DJing in the afternoon.
If you are going to Lolla: You can catch Haim’s DJ set at night.
If you’d rather stay home: Maybe don’t?
COAST IS CLEAR
Left Coast Food + Juice is now the only restaurant to sell world-champion bartender Charles Joly’s line of bottled cocktails. That’s why, this Sunday, they’ll host Joly himself, a DJ and you on their patio, along with gratis samples of the good stuff. Also, plenty of juice. That stuff’s good, too.
Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.
