If a picture is worth a thousand words, then an out-of-context quote is… something. Probably. It’s probably something.

Regardless, we’ve compiled a bunch of those below in what we’re calling the Year in Short. Yep, just a collection of quotes pulled from some of our stories from the past year, without any context whatsoever. It’ll be great.

Or, at the very least, it’ll be a bunch of words.

“Feels like a futuristic greenhouse. Feels like a place where a tofuna roll just kind of makes sense.”

“If you and your date are having good hair days, the reflection of the evidence will just bounce all over and make everyone a little happier.”

“Wow, that was a pretty incredible musical number about beer.”

“… you instantly kind of want a raincoat from a ’20s Parisian man named Mr. Smutek.”

“What do a hog wire fence, a succulent-filled shipping container and spicy sausage have in common?”

“Before we begin, our lawyers thought it prudent for us to agree on a safe word. Let’s go with: ‘giant clam.’”

“Here to talk leather, lounging and romance languages, we’ve got Raymond, a beautiful magenta hammock.”

There’s only so much organ you can play for Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin before you’ve got to move on to perfecting your spicy shrimp recipe…”

You weren’t getting out of this without cuff bears.”

“Then you’ll just sort of walk around and applaud yourself for being better at walking around shops than everyone else.”The watermelon punch bowls.

The abalone diving.

The 370 bottles of gin.

Yes, 2015 has been very, very real so far. So it’s probably worth at least one fond-memory-driven slideshow chronicling its many splendors. We’ll call it the Best of 2015, and we’ll put it right about… here.

We’ll also put it here.

We’re done putting it places now.
Leisure

Anti-Resolutions 2016

We say, “New Year’s resolutions.” You say, “Juice cleanse.” Then we shake you out of that nonsense and present you with five significantly better ways to kick off 2016. One of which may or may not include taking shots out of bones. Sorry for hypothetically shaking you back there.

Anti-Resolution: A $3K Ice Cream Sundae

RESOLUTION: EAT LESS SUGAR

Anti-Resolution: A $3K Ice Cream Sundae

Here’s a resolution for you: never eat an ice cream sundae again without a private string cello performance. Even better if that sundae’s topped with syrups made from three rare dessert wines. And costs more than three grand. Three Twins will happily oblige all of the above, by the way.

Anti-Resolution: Bone Marrow Luges

RESOLUTION: DRINK LESS

Anti-Resolution: Bone Marrow Luges

Taking shots may be a bit questionable in most situations. But not taking shots when they’re served luge-style from a bone that was holding some smoked bone marrow that you just drank is… well, it’s unacceptable.

Anti-Resolution: Join This Clubhouse

RESOLUTION: JOIN A GYM

Anti-Resolution: Join This Clubhouse

Instead of joining a gym, maybe you should join the secret, members-only clubhouse behind the scoreboard at AT&T Park instead. It’s where you’ll find a bunch of old-school Giants memorabilia, a bowling alley and cocktails with baseball-shaped ice cubes in them. It was that or “circular” ice cubes.

Anti-Resolution: Do Nothing in Nature

RESOLUTION: BE ACTIVE IN NATURE

Anti-Resolution: Do Nothing in Nature

Big Sur is known for its beautiful redwood forests, rigorous backpacking opportunities and some pretty great surf. The Surf & Stay package at the Post Ranch Inn is known for its champagne, nine-course dinner and ocean-view house with a private hot tub. But you’re here to surf, remember?

Anti-Resolution: So Much Fancy Barware

RESOLUTION: MAKE SOUND INVESTMENTS

Anti-Resolution: So Much Fancy Barware

Your 401(k). Tesla stock. Sound investments, all. But you know what else is? Custom-designed barware collections featuring $2,250 wooden boxes filled with glasses and tools, a $2,600 bar cart and all of the high-end spirits you can imagine from the Bank at Wingtip.

More Leisure in San Francisco

“I’m going north. The wind has called upon me. I must fulfill my spiritual destiny. I must live. I must drink hot toddies and play ping-pong high above the Pacific Ocean.”

1) Never say those things out loud.
2) Totally do those things.

Preferably at Timber Cove, a completely revamped Sonoma Coast hotel just north of Jenner that’s taking reservations now and opening tomorrow. Here’s what it looks like.

“Holy shit” is an appropriate first response upon seeing this striking, Frank Lloyd Wright–y structure. The original Timber Cove came to be in the early ’60s, and this renovation has preserved much of the original exterior. Smart.

The inside, though, has been fully gutted and updated. It’s got 46 guest rooms complete with turntables and the type of elevated rusticity you’d expect from rooms with turntables in them. They have eight suites, too. The suites are nice. Get a suite.

You’d do just fine spending time out on your room’s ocean-facing balcony, but it’s worth venturing over to their new Coast Kitchen for a grilled ribeye, and the adjacent tasting room for a sampling of Sonoma wines.

And then there’s the outdoor Living Room. It’s got a fire pit and whiskey-spiked chamomile hot toddies. It’s got ping-pong and pool. It’s got the ocean.

It’s that big thing of saltwater. Can’t miss it.

Found You a New Place to Drink Beer Outside

A Japanese-Style Beer Garden and a Mac-and-Cheese Festival Are Involved

By Lauren Sloss

Bright lights, big weekend.

Wednesday
Thursday
In Situ Does Dinner Now, Which Is Important

WE HAVE A SITU’ATION

In Situ Does Dinner Now, Which Is Important

You’ll recall In Situ, Corey Lee’s big-deal restaurant at the MOMA that recreates dishes from the greatest restaurants in the world. Right, well, they serve dinner now. Which means you have even more chances to eat things from Husk and Noma. So that’s pleasant.

An Oakland Garden Patio for Your Consideration

ALL’S FARE

An Oakland Garden Patio for Your Consideration

Should you find yourself in Grand Lake anytime soon, you’ll want to swing by the new Grand Fare Market. It’s full of things like housemade charcuterie and cheese, plus sandwiches and wines that you’ll probably want to enjoy on their light-strung garden patio. Not to be too presumptuous or anything.

Friday
A Japanese-Style Beer Garden by the Bay

JAPAN DO

A Japanese-Style Beer Garden by the Bay

In Japan, you can get beer topped with frozen foam. And turns out, you can also get it at Chaya’s summertime Matsuri Beer Garden, in addition to chicken wings on skewers and octopus tacos and stunning views of the Bay Bridge. Japan doesn’t have a Bay Bridge.

Saturday
An Entire Festival Dedicated to Mac and Cheese

BIG MAC

An Entire Festival Dedicated to Mac and Cheese

This Saturday, a mac-and-cheese-off will happen. It’s basically where over 10 food trucks and restaurants make you mac and cheese and you vote for whichever one you like the best. There’s also giant Jenga, beer and live music. But mostly mac and cheese.

Sunday
Alite + Welcome Stranger + The Great Outdoors

TAKE A HIKE

Alite + Welcome Stranger + The Great Outdoors

Camping and summer just make good sense. Especially when said camping involves gear from Alite and Welcome Stranger’s Great Outdoors pop-up collaboration. Among your future findings: camp chairs, cooler packs and other things you need for the woods. Or Dolores Park. Which still counts.

Lauren Sloss

Lauren Sloss requires a climate that allows her to wear motorcycle boots daily. She likes her bourbon neat and her martinis dirty, and would like to be the lead singer of a punk rock band when she grows up.

More Radar in San Francisco

Ah, July.

The fog. The wind. The 50-degree temperatures. It’s enough to get you daydreaming about a cold beer on a warm beach.

Kind of like the one that just opened on Treasure Island.

Oh, indeed: Woods Beer, that ever-faithful cross-Bay brewery, now has a beachy new outpost at Clipper Cove. It’s called Woods Island Club, and here it is in pictures.

Right. A beach. A 4,000-square-foot one with sail shades and lounge chairs where you’ll sit when you’re drinking a Retro pilsner or a yerba mate IPA from the outdoor bar. Maybe bring your own beach blankets and stay awhile because, get this, it’s warm on this beach. Thanks, microclimates.

Or you could relocate to the big taproom inside a repurposed airplane hangar. You’ll find eight of their beers in there, with classics like Morpho, plus new barrel-aged experiments that are being tapped for the first time.

In the future, there’ll be things like pig roasts and food trucks. For now, they’re open a couple weekends a month, usually around the Treasure Island Flea. And on off days, you can rent the space out for your own party. Maybe get on that before September, when they’ll be open almost every weekend.

You know, real summer.

You’ve Got Your Work Cut Out for You This Weekend

Motown at Churchill, a Giant Unionmade Sale and Wet Hot American Summer: The Party

By Lauren Sloss

Where the rubber meets the weekend.

Wednesday
Talking Tiki with the King of Tiki

REQUIRED READING

Talking Tiki with the King of Tiki

Smuggler’s Cove. Great bar. A bar where the tiki drinks are ample and excellent. So, when you hear that the proprietor of said bar, Martin Cate, wrote a book and would like to talk to you about it tonight at Omnivore, you’ll likely think, “Rum.” Followed by, “That sounds interesting.” Good responses, both.

Churchill’s Turning Five. Bourbon and a Brass Band Ensue.

TAKE ME TO CHURCH

Churchill’s Turning Five. Bourbon and a Brass Band Ensue.

It’s important to support your beloved drinking establishments. Especially the ones that make you excellent Old Fashioneds. Like Churchill, which is turning five tonight and throwing itself a birthday party with a brass band, Motown DJs and drinks. The drinks may have been implied.

Friday
Many Things Are on Sale at Unionmade

STATE OF THE UNION

Many Things Are on Sale at Unionmade

Summer, aka September, is fast approaching. So it’s awfully convenient that Unionmade is having a huge end-of-season sale with an even huge-er selection of polos from Orlebar Brown and oxford shorts from the Hill-Side and other things you like. Assuming you like things in general.

Saturday
Wet Hot American Summer: The Party

CAMP’S IN SESSION

Wet Hot American Summer: The Party

Maybe you’re going to Outside Lands. Maybe you’re not. Either way, you’re going to this Wet Hot American Summer–themed Outside Lands after-party. DJs and summer camp attire will be involved. So will you listening to DJs and wearing summer camp attire. It’s just how these things work.

Sunday
Why You’re Going to Seven Stills on Sunday

SEVENTH HEAVEN

Why You’re Going to Seven Stills on Sunday

You’ll recall Seven Stills, that glorious establishment that makes whiskey from beer and opened a taproom a couple months ago. Well, they’re having a gathering this Sunday with a whole lot of music, BBQ, burgers and… whiskey made from beer. You’ve got it from here.

Lauren Sloss

Lauren Sloss requires a climate that allows her to wear motorcycle boots daily. She likes her bourbon neat and her martinis dirty, and would like to be the lead singer of a punk rock band when she grows up.

More Radar in San Francisco

Sometimes, you just need a place to get shit done.

Other times, you just need a place to grab a coffee, eat a panini, drink a beer, take a shower, decamp to a nap room and… get shit done.

This is about one of those other times.

At Covo, a new coworking space/café/tap room on Mission that’s open now and looks like this.

It’s a tri-level, 18,000-square-foot space, which is likely bigger than wherever you normally send emails from. Maybe. Doesn’t mater. You can pop in and rent a work space by the hour on the high-ceilinged, brick-laden first floor, or you can become a member to gain access to the top two floors.

High-to-very-high on the member benefits list: the ability to take a shower for absolutely no reason. Or to take a nap in the honest-to-God nap room for absolutely no reason. Anyone can grab a cup of Equator coffee and some avocado toast in the full-service cafe, though.

Oh, and come evening, there’ll be nine beers and four wines on tap, plus port flights and cheese-and-charcuterie boards. 

Other than all that, yeah… pretty typical coworking space.

There’s a Pool Party, Sure. But There’s Also…

Ping-Pong, Birthday Cake and a Wes Ander-thon

By Lauren Sloss

The weekend who sold the world.

Wednesday
Friday
Two Incredibly Noteworthy Movie Marathons

SCREEN SPIRIT

Two Incredibly Noteworthy Movie Marathons

Wes Anderson movies: great. Robin Williams: also great. News that there’s both a Wes Ander-thon all weekend at the Roxie and a Robin Williams fest at SoMa StrEat Food on Sunday: insert overly enthusiastic word of choice here.

There’s Ping-Pong, Beer and Birthday Cake

LONG, STRANGE TRIPP

There’s Ping-Pong, Beer and Birthday Cake

A fifth-birthday party might very well evoke images of cake and five-year-olds. But when it’s American Tripps’ fifth-birthday party, which happens on Friday, there’s ping-pong and DJs and delicious frothy beverages. And cake. There’s still cake.

Saturday
A Great Big Beer Festival in Old Oakland

DRAFT DAY

A Great Big Beer Festival in Old Oakland

Here’s the part of Saturday where you stroll around drinking beers from breweries like Temescal and Evil Twin at the Oakland Beer Festival. Maybe you head into the Trappist for a sour bitter fest, or to Umami Mart for a Matsuri fest. Basically, you’re drinking beer in Oakland on Saturday.

Tacos + Luchadores = Your Saturday

WRESTLE MANIA

Tacos + Luchadores = Your Saturday

Well, looks like you’re going to a La Cocina–hosted taco festival on Pier 70 this weekend. It also looks like you’ll be watching masked Mexican wrestlers depicting good versus evil while eating tacos and drinking mezcal. We don’t make the rules.

Sunday
A Very Acceptable Pool Party at the Phoenix

ADULT SWIM

A Very Acceptable Pool Party at the Phoenix

A pool party with a great DJ and live bands and barbecue and drinks. You get to go to one of those this weekend at the Phoenix. Just thought we’d let you know that before you carried on living your life without knowing that.

Lauren Sloss

Lauren Sloss requires a climate that allows her to wear motorcycle boots daily. She likes her bourbon neat and her martinis dirty, and would like to be the lead singer of a punk rock band when she grows up.

More Radar in San Francisco

Your Weekend Diversions Include an Accordion Festival

New Beer, a Fifth Element Dance Party and Just So Many Accordions

By Lauren Sloss

Se habla weekend.

Wednesday
It’s a Whiskey-and-Slider Tasting at Barbarossa

SIP-AND-SLIDE

It’s a Whiskey-and-Slider Tasting at Barbarossa

If you’re thinking, “After work tonight, I’d like to taste a number of rare whiskeys and, what the heck, pair them with some sliders,” then you’re in luck. Because that’s exactly what’s happening at Barbarossa this evening. Sometimes things just work out like that.

Thursday
The Spanish Get Happy Hour Right

BASQUE IN THE GLORY

The Spanish Get Happy Hour Right

Aatxe’s new Pintxo Hour is a nightly affair with $1 bites like chorizo deviled eggs, $5 patatas bravas and $8 gin and tonics. If that doesn’t bring you happiness, well, maybe you walked into the wrong place.

The Ol’ Fifth-Element-Screening-and-Dance-Party Combo

PLEAD THE FIFTH

The Ol’ Fifth-Element-Screening-and-Dance-Party Combo

And then there’s this special screening of The Fifth Element in a revamped Chinatown theater that involves multiple projectors, two live shows and, oh yeah, an epic dance party to follow. Bruce Willis always insists on a dance party.

Saturday
A New Reason to Drink Beer in Los Gatos

OH, BROTHER

A New Reason to Drink Beer in Los Gatos

A quick jaunt down to Los Gatos sounds nice. Particularly when it involves stopping at Loma Brewing Company, a new brewpub from the Youkilis brothers. Scott’s behind great SF spots like Hog & Rocks. Kevin is… well, he’s the baseball-playing Kevin Youkilis. Anyway, they’re making beer now, and you should go drink some.

Sunday
A Weekend-Long Accordion Fest: As Weird as It Sounds

PLAN ACCORDINGLY

A Weekend-Long Accordion Fest: As Weird as It Sounds

Here’s a thing you never knew existed: a weekend festival dedicated to all things accordion, including polka, zydeco and a pinup calendar filled with accordion-playing ladies. Strange. But nevertheless, it’s happening in Cotati, there’s beer and real summer weather, and did we mention the fact that it’s an accordion festival?

Lauren Sloss

Lauren Sloss requires a climate that allows her to wear motorcycle boots daily. She likes her bourbon neat and her martinis dirty, and would like to be the lead singer of a punk rock band when she grows up.

More Radar in San Francisco

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