Chinese Democracy

Chinese Democracy

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General Tso.

Solid military strategist. Excellent mustache. A wiz with chicken.

But the guy’s been out of the game for, like, 200 years.

It’s time to move on.

Consider this your rebound.

Welcome Hakkasan, a resplendent, internationally renowned Chinese restaurant that comes to New York after conquering London and Mumbai and Abu Dhabi and Miami Beach, opening next Tuesday.

Think of this sort of like the Cantonese version of Nobu. A big sexy behemoth that’s carved out of dark oak, trimmed in fine silk and accented with imported Carrara marble. MIA: wet naps, wontons and plastic packets of spicy mustard.

It’s a late-in-the-week date spot, this place here. One that’s bordering on solar-eclipse levels of darkness (in England, they call it “mood lighting”).

Slip into any of the private booths (they’re all surrounded by lattice cages) and seriously think about procuring both the Peking duck and the roasted silver cod. One is topped with Russian caviar, the other, French champagne (yes, oyster sauce is sitting this one out).

But if it’s dim sum (or a shred of visibility) that you prefer, consider the Michelin-decorated lunch service. Aboard the figurative cart: things like XO scallop shumai, fried oyster rolls and steamed crabmeat buns.

If you still need a fortune cookie, we don’t know what to tell you.

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