Leisure

Anti-Resolutions 2016

You were so close. 361 more days, and all your New Year’s resolutions would’ve remained intact. But alas, now you’re reading this. And soon enough, you’ll scroll below to find five damn-near-irresistible ways to do the exact opposite of what you said you’d do. Oh well, there’s always next year.

Anti-Resolution: Drink a $100 Negroni

RESOLUTION: DRINK LESS

Anti-Resolution: Drink a $100 Negroni

Only 350 bottles of Nolet’s Reserve gin are produced a year. Of those 350, 75 supposedly go directly to Tiger Woods. Of the two allocated to the city of Chicago, one goes to the Bassment. Anyway, they make a $100 Negroni from it, so you should drink that.

Anti-Resolution: Drink Your Smoke

RESOLUTION: QUIT SMOKING

Anti-Resolution: Drink Your Smoke

This giant Germain-Robin Craft-Method brandy drink from Bottlefork is served with a cloud of smoke from a Honduran robusto. So it’s not exactly smoking. But it’s not exactly not smoking either. In other words: beats cold turkey.

Anti-Resolution: Nothing in Moderation

RESOLUTION: EVERYTHING IN MODERATION

Anti-Resolution: Nothing in Moderation

Peruse the menu at bi-level steakhouse Maple & Ash, and you’ll find an option entitled: “I Don’t Give a F*@k.” Once you ask for it, they’ll proceed to bring you food. And bring you food. And bring you food. And… you see the pattern here.

Anti-Resolution: Buy This Damn Thing

RESOLUTION: MAKE SOUND INVESTMENTS

Anti-Resolution: Buy This Damn Thing

“Affordable.” “Price-conscious.” “Necessary.” These are not the words we’d use to describe your impending purchase of a handcrafted desk chair from Virgin that reclaims the iconic chassis of an actual 1980s Vespa. Which isn’t to say you shouldn’t buy it. You should. Just… look at it.

Anti-Resolution: The Bourbon Bubbler

RESOLUTION: DEVELOP THICKER SKIN

Anti-Resolution: The Bourbon Bubbler

Winter. Chicago. You know the drill…

1) Make sure you have a warm coat.

2) Try to limit your exposure.

3) Go to NoMI for their Bourbon Bubbler—45 minutes of sweet-smelling skin exfoliation to reduce any winter-inflicted roughness.

This actually might be a new drill.

More Leisure in Chicago

May Your Weekend Be Full of Crack Fries

Not to Mention Beach Polo, Meatballs and Surprise DJs

By Sam Eichner

Weekend got your tongue?

Wednesday
New from the Rosebud Guys...

BOY WONDER

New from the Rosebud Guys…

You have a few choices when it comes to River North Italian food. Okay, way more than a few. So we’ll just present Rosebud’s newest spot, Mama’s Boy, as the sort of no-frills place you’ll frequent to indulge in veal chop Milanese, beef ragù macaroni and damn good Sicilian meatballs. And then we’ll leave you be.

Thursday
Estereo Has a Surprise for You

SPIN CYCLE

Estereo Has a Surprise for You

There are a few things you should know about Estereo’s new DJ series, starting tomorrow. Like the fact that they’ll have three sets, a surprise headliner and special bottled highballs. There are also a few things you shouldn’t know. Like who the surprise headliner is. Because it’s a surprise.

Saturday
An Actual Polo Tournament on an Actual Beach

POLO AND BEHOLD

An Actual Polo Tournament on an Actual Beach

This weekend, you’re watching a six-team polo tournament. To clarify: this weekend, you’re watching a six-team polo tournament on North Avenue Beach, where they’ve custom-built a beach polo area surrounded by a wine-tasting tent, champagne lounge and beer garden. Needless to say, drinks will not be an issue.

Sunday
When Eataly Visits the Waldorf, You Get This

CHECKING IN

When Eataly Visits the Waldorf, You Get This

Eataly and the Waldorf Astoria present… Piazza d’Oro. It’s an Italian marketplace set in the Waldorf’s European-inspired courtyard where you and your date are free to wander around sampling fried risotto balls, gelato and Italian wine to the sounds of live jazz. It premieres Sunday. Be there or be less happy.

130 Taps and Crack Fries in Lincoln Park

HOP TO IT

130 Taps and Crack Fries in Lincoln Park

This past weekend: Award-winning, Michigan-based beer bar HopCat opened its first Chicago location with red leather booths, 130 craft taps (many of which hail from Illinois), create-your-own mac and cheese, and their beer-battered “Crack Fries.” This upcoming weekend: You know where you’re watching the Bears game.

Sam Eichner

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

More Radar in Chicago

Your Labor Day Weekend Begins with Beer Floats

There’ll Be Some Heritage Bicycles and Taco-Related Glory in There, Too

By Sam Eichner

The weekend don’t want to work, it just wants to bang on the drum all day.

Wednesday
If These Cufflinks Could Talk

FROM PERKS

If These Cufflinks Could Talk

A list of major events for which these vintage cufflinks have been around:

—The invention of antibiotics.

—WWII.

—Lunar landing.

—Fall of the Berlin Wall.

—Being fortunate enough to keep your dress shirt cuffs together.

Yeah, they’ve seen it all.

Thursday
A Late-Night Taco Pop-Up from the Broken Shaker

THE SHAKE-UP

A Late-Night Taco Pop-Up from the Broken Shaker

During the day, the Freehand Chicago’s café is just a café. But come nightfall Thursdays through Saturdays, something will change. The Broken Shaker will take over, serving pork belly tacos and chocolate mole meatballs to pair with mezcal agua fresca. DJs will perform. And you probably won’t want coffee anymore.

Friday
Beer Floats and Breakfast Pizza Right Off the 606

FULL STOP

Beer Floats and Breakfast Pizza Right Off the 606

One evening soon, as you’re strolling down the 606, you may spot a TMNT mural and a sign reading “The StopAlong.” Curious, you’ll leave the trail. What you’ll find inside is a nostalgia-rich wonderland filled with breakfast pizza, beer floats and aged-cheddar burgers. Also, a few arcade games. For “kids.”

Saturday
Football Season’s Coming. Speaking Of...

SHIP SHAPE

Football Season’s Coming. Speaking Of…

A new bi-level sports bar, Ironside, is now open in River North, just in time for football season. A few things to know: 1) there’s a subtle steampunk-y shipyard theme happening; 2) that fact apparently has little to do with the flat-screens, duck confit tamales, lobster tots and four different mules; 3) phew?

Tuesday
Timbuk2 + Heritage Bicycles = This Store

MATCH GAME

Timbuk2 + Heritage Bicycles = This Store

Trump; Kanye’s VMA speech; Suicide Squad—these are things that do not make sense. A collaborative pop-up shop between Timbuk2 (maker of stylish messenger bags) and Heritage Bicycles (maker of handsome bicycles) that opens in Hyde Park on Tuesday—that is one thing that does. Faith in humanity: restored.

Sam Eichner

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

More Radar in Chicago

Dad’s taught you a lot over the years.

How to throw a baseball.

How to throw a football.

How to do a bunch of other stuff that doesn’t involve throwing things.

But one lesson he never taught you was how to buy him the perfect Father’s Day gift.

For that, you’ll turn to this slideshow, which contains all the sage pictorial wisdom on small-batch hot sauces, Austrian muscle tonics and leather knife rolls he so un-desperately requires. We’re calling it the Chicago Father’s Day Gift Guide.

Because that’s what it is.If there were ever a time to pick up a pair of gloves, step into the ring and launch your amateur boxing career, well…

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow would be that time.

Because, hailing from the streets of Logan Square, it’s Unanimous Boxing Gym—an unexpectedly elevated place to lift heavy things and train with a professional boxer. It soft-opens tomorrow, and these words lead to its slideshow.

You’ll start on the main floor.
Where you’ll hop in the ring under a huge chandelier and participate in a group class or private training session under the wise tutelage of a professional boxer named Trinidad (he just so happens to own the place).

Eventually, you’ll make your way to the back.
Past the punching bags (handmade from Italian leather, along with the gloves), some vintage leather benches and lockers to their water bags, which simulate what it feels like to hit a real person. For what that’s worth.

And in the near future, you’ll be heading to the basement.
They’ll have a full weight room, treadmills and a stretch of turf for when you feel like doing sled pulls.

It’s okay if that’s never.

Just Look at This Burger

More Umami Burgers. More Seafood. More Questlove.

By Sam Eichner

Never weekend on an empty stomach.

Wednesday
We Just Got Another Umami Burger, and That’s Okay

GO WEST

We Just Got Another Umami Burger, and That’s Okay

See that burger to your left? Yeah, that one. It’s a Monte Cristo burger with prosciutto, gruyère fondue and a vanilla-custard-soaked, deep-fried bun. Oh, and it’s available right this moment at the just-opened West Loop location of Umami Burger. You’re so very welcome.

Thursday
Seafood in a Bag. Popsicles. Summer.

IT’S A PAD, PAD, PAD, PAD WORLD

Seafood in a Bag. Popsicles. Summer.

You could always use another BYOB place where they throw a bunch of spicy Cajun seafood in a bag for your and your friend’s unabashed feasting pleasure. Especially when that place also has garlic noodles, fried calamari and cookies-and-cream popsicles. Such is the case with the Crab Pad. Hence, these words.

Saturday
Your Old Bag Never Stood a Chance

DON’T KILL THE MESSENGER

Your Old Bag Never Stood a Chance

This weekend, Timbuk2 is taking up to 70% off their particularly dapper messengers, totes and backpacks. So apologize to your old bag. Tell the thing it’s done a good job holding your stuff. That it’s not it, it’s you. Or do literally nothing because bags don’t have feelings.

Sunday
A Rooftop Day Party Where Questlove DJs

LIKE A VIRGIN

A Rooftop Day Party Where Questlove DJs

Two Lollapalooza-related shows/parties are happening at the Virgin Hotel’s rooftop bar on Sunday. So…

If you’re not going to Lolla: You can dance to Questlove DJing in the afternoon.

If you are going to Lolla: You can catch Haim’s DJ set at night.

If you’d rather stay home: Maybe don’t?

A World-Champion Bartender Is Involved

COAST IS CLEAR

A World-Champion Bartender Is Involved

Left Coast Food + Juice is now the only restaurant to sell world-champion bartender Charles Joly’s line of bottled cocktails. That’s why, this Sunday, they’ll host Joly himself, a DJ and you on their patio, along with gratis samples of the good stuff. Also, plenty of juice. That stuff’s good, too.

Sam Eichner

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

More Radar in Chicago

Take One Tricycle. Add Ice Cream. This Happens.

Adult Summer Camp, Mindy Segal’s Ice Cream Tricycle and One Big Hat Sale

By Sam Eichner

The weekend’s going for the gold.

Wednesday
Bridgeport Gets Tacos. Lincoln Park Gets Juice. You Get Both.

BACK FOR SECONDS

Bridgeport Gets Tacos. Lincoln Park Gets Juice. You Get Both.

Bridgeport and Lincoln Park are extra happy this week. Here’s why…

Antique Taco: The beloved Wicker Park taqueria’s new Bridgeport location has their classics, plus chorizo-octopus tacos and mezcal punch.

Owen + Alchemy: The fancy Logan Square cold-pressed juice place is opening their Lincoln Park pop-up today.

Sorry, other neighborhoods.

Friday
Camping Now Involves a Concert and Chop Shop BBQ

ISLAND IN THE SUN

Camping Now Involves a Concert and Chop Shop BBQ

Friday night, you and some friends are going camping on Northerly Island. You’ll set up a tent, eat Chop Shop’s BBQ, drink beer and take in a concert from Waxahatchee. Then, in the morning, you’ll do yoga and brunch. It’s only glamping if you call it glamping.

How the Hideout Does Summer Picnics

OUT ON THE PORCH

How the Hideout Does Summer Picnics

And now, an unnecessarily informative poem…

The Hideout at 6pm, Friday.

Picnic basket packed by Local Foods,

With cider, meat and other assorted delights. You

Sit on their porch. Hold someone’s hand. Hum to Big Sadie’s

Bluegrass music.

Summer breeze.

Tranquility.

See you there.

The end.

Saturday
Oh, Look, It’s Mindy Segal’s Ice Cream Tricycle

TRI, TRI AGAIN

Oh, Look, It’s Mindy Segal’s Ice Cream Tricycle

Walking along the 606 on nights and weekends this month, you might spy a suspicious-looking tricycle carrying Mindy Segal’s frozen treats. Do not be alarmed. Simply approach the vehicle, ask for a PB&J or malted milk chocolate fudgsicle and be on your way. Also, eat those things. Those things tend to melt.

Sunday
Just a Dizzying Array of Very-Much-on-Sale Hats

HEADS UP

Just a Dizzying Array of Very-Much-on-Sale Hats

Straw hats. Handmade wool fedoras. Italian flatcaps. A golden baseball hat. Sure, we could go on listing the nice-looking 40% off offerings from the Goorin Bros. summer sale all day. But then it would grow dark. And you’d still be hatless. Which would be sad.

Sam Eichner

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

More Radar in Chicago

Looks Like You’re Staying Up All Night

A Beach Party, 4am Rum Drinks and the Most ’90s Lunch Ever

By Sam Eichner

There’s weekend in them thar hills.

Wednesday
And the Poke Bowls Just Keep On Coming

ALOHA STATE

And the Poke Bowls Just Keep On Coming

Pokiology is a new fast-casual restaurant in Uptown where they combine the Hawaiian-style poke of your choice with sushi-like toppings before placing them in a convenient to-go bowl. None of which likely needed to be explained just then.

Friday
Burgers, Fries and Saved by the Bell

TO THE MAX

Burgers, Fries and Saved by the Bell

All of your burning Saved by the Bell–related questions will be answered during Friday’s special luncheon at the so-themed pop-up diner, where you’ll enjoy their Bayside burger and fries, an episode screening and a Q&A with the show’s former head writer. It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for since… maybe never.

Saturday
Meet Your New 4am Bar. Its Name Is Remedy.

UP ALL NIGHT

Meet Your New 4am Bar. Its Name Is Remedy.

They say: Nothing good ever happens after 2am.

We say: What about Remedy? It’s your new neighborhood 4am bar in Wicker Park with pineapple-and-rum drinks, big front windows that open up onto the sidewalk and a jukebox, should you want to dance.

You say: You had me at rum drinks.

Sunday
Classic Vinyl and Rosé on a Rooftop Deck

LET THE GREAT WORLD SPIN

Classic Vinyl and Rosé on a Rooftop Deck

There’s this new thing happening at that convivial rooftop deck, Streeterville Social, called Vinyl Sundays. The idea being, on Sunday afternoons, they’ll have a DJ spin some classic vinyl for your musical enjoyment, plus they’ll have half-price bottles of rosé. That last part wasn’t in the name, but it’s just as important.

Monday
Spiaggia Is Throwing a Beach Party

FERR’ ENOUGH

Spiaggia Is Throwing a Beach Party

Ferragosto: An Italian holiday celebrated by Spiaggia at Oak Street Beach. Includes a DJ, an oyster-and-crudo bar, whole roasted lamb, fresh gelato and good-looking people lit by the softly setting sun.

Ferragamo: Italian shoes.

Never confuse the two again.

Sam Eichner

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

More Radar in Chicago

Great Advents in Chinese Takeout (and Other Stories)

Duck Duck Goat’s Takeout Window, Latinicity’s New Thing and a Roller Rink Party

By Sam Eichner

Life is a highway, I want to ride it all weekend long.

Wednesday
You’ve Been Waiting All Summer for This Sale

END TIMES

You’ve Been Waiting All Summer for This Sale

Independence must think summer is over, because they’ve already launched their end-of-season sale, granting you 50% off short-sleeve Gitman Vintage button-downs, Engineered Garments twill shorts and some particularly Hawaiian Hawaiian-print shirts. Either that, or there’s a far more reasonable explanation.

Thursday
Duck Duck Goat Has a Takeout Window Now

WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY

Duck Duck Goat Has a Takeout Window Now

A critical update in the field of Chinese takeout: Duck Duck Goat has a new walk-up window for beef-filled scallion pancakes, Taiwanese fried chicken and other street-food-y lunch items. A noncritical update in that same field: adding the words “in bed” to your fortune is still kind of funny.

Friday
A Beer Hall Within a Food Hall Within Block 37

HALL IN

A Beer Hall Within a Food Hall Within Block 37

Venture over to Latinicity this Friday after work and you’ll find Cerveceria—a new 80-seat drinking hall within their already plentiful dining hall—slinging happy hour Spanish charcuterie, crispy fish chicharrones and beers from Denver-based Crazy Mountain brewery. Don’t venture over, and you won’t find that. This is an easy call.

Saturday
A 100-Gallon Louisiana Crayfish Boil in Fulton Market

CRAY CRAY

A 100-Gallon Louisiana Crayfish Boil in Fulton Market

Smack Shack began as a lobster roll truck in Minnesota. In April, they opened up a giant outpost in the West Loop. On Saturday, they’ll host their first Crayfest, featuring an all-you-can-eat Louisiana-style crayfish boil, griddled milk bread and black-and-white-rum hurricanes. All of which… sort of makes sense?

Tuesday
A Classic Roller Rink Party. Plus, Beer.

I AM SKATE

A Classic Roller Rink Party. Plus, Beer.

On Tuesday, Do312 celebrates their sixth birthday at Logan Square Auditorium, where they’ve built a custom roller rink, purchased some beer and invited a few DJs to do their DJing thing. And here you thought your best days of skating around in a circle were behind you…

Sam Eichner

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

More Radar in Chicago

Ugh.

That’s the word you may or may not have uttered upon realizing that, yes, you forgot to make those big Labor Day weekend plans.

Quaint as shit.

Those are the words you may or may not utter upon viewing the following unnecessarily charming Midwestern lake house rentals (and one landlocked mansion because… well, you’ll see) that are still available for your long-weekend-ing pleasure.

Choose wisely. And quickly.

Where: Atlanta, Michigan.
Why: No soul-having person can resist the call of 1,000 feet of lake frontage, 80 wooded acres and the hominess of a restored 1940s log cabin.
How much: $275.


Where: Porter Beach, Indiana.
Why: Two things you can do in about one hour: 1) Watch half an episode of Bachelor in Paradise; 2) drive here from Chicago to relax on a glorious deck overlooking your own private beach. Act now or forever hold your peace.
How much: $310.


Where: Chicago, Illinois.
Why: Bed and breakfasts are much better when they’re situated on a 40-foot sailing yacht. Just are.
How much: $700.


Where: Goetzville, Michigan.
Why: It’s a well-appointed lighthouse home on a 7.5-acre private island in the Upper Peninsula. And no other reasons.
How much: $1,040.


Where: Saugatuck, Michigan.
Why: Again, this one isn’t on a lake. But it is a 1920s mansion with a speakeasy-style pub, a hot tub and more than 6,000 square feet for you and your friends to sprawl out in. Also, it’s called the Manor.
How much: $1,475.
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