Anti-Resolutions 2016

Anti-Resolutions 2016

Average Reviews

Description

Leisure

Anti-Resolutions 2016

The resolutions will not be televised, because you’re not doing them. Below you, just a little bit, are five ways to break your resolutions in dazzling fashion.

Anti-Resolution: Learning Rope Bondage

RESOLUTION: TREAT EVERYONE WITH RESPECT

Anti-Resolution: Learning Rope Bondage

Nothing says respect like learning how to tie people up for sexual pleasure. To be fair, you’re meant to show up with a partner, thus allowing yourself to be tied up as well. Egalitarianism is important in a relationship. As are slip knots.

Anti-Resolution: Eat a Ridiculous S’more

RESOLUTION: GO PALEO

Anti-Resolution: Eat a Ridiculous S’more

Smoked-mallow ice cream, mallow sauce, graham cracker soil and a chocolate cookie. Just like Homo erectus made it.

Anti-Resolution: Date by the Stars

RESOLUTION: FORGE A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP

Anti-Resolution: Date by the Stars

Let’s say you’re sick of using “meaningful information” and “scientific compatibility matching” to find people to date. Here’s an app that carefully, thoughtfully collects your information, then pairs you with five people who have compatible astrological signs. It’s the Nancy Reagan approach to dating in New York.

Anti-Resolution: Aerial Hammock Classes

RESOLUTION: LEARN A PRACTICAL SKILL

Anti-Resolution: Aerial Hammock Classes

Fixing a car? Please. Cooking? Psh. How about you learn how to do daring feats of contortion and gymnastics in a hammock suspended high in the air? Because you never know when life will call upon you to fill in for circus performers.

Anti-Resolution: Boatless Wakeboarding

RESOLUTION: REDUCE YOUR CARBON FOOTPRINT

Anti-Resolution: Boatless Wakeboarding

Actually, you’re keeping your resolution here… with a stage wink. Everyone knows the best way to save planet Earth is with cable-guided wakeboarding sessions. We’re pretty sure it was part of the climate talks.

More Leisure in New York

Author

Statistic

4 Views
0 Rating
0 Favorite
Share

Claim Business

Is this your business?

Claim listing is the best way to manage and protect your business.