The Year in Short

The Year in Short

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If a picture is worth a thousand words, then an out-of-context quote is… something. Probably. It’s probably something.

Regardless, we’ve compiled a bunch of those below in what we’re calling the Year in Short. Yep, just a collection of quotes pulled from some of our stories from the past year, without any context whatsoever. It’ll be great.

Or, at the very least, it’ll be a bunch of words.

“Feels like a futuristic greenhouse. Feels like a place where a tofuna roll just kind of makes sense.”

“If you and your date are having good hair days, the reflection of the evidence will just bounce all over and make everyone a little happier.”

“Wow, that was a pretty incredible musical number about beer.”

“… you instantly kind of want a raincoat from a ’20s Parisian man named Mr. Smutek.”

“What do a hog wire fence, a succulent-filled shipping container and spicy sausage have in common?”

“Before we begin, our lawyers thought it prudent for us to agree on a safe word. Let’s go with: ‘giant clam.’”

“Here to talk leather, lounging and romance languages, we’ve got Raymond, a beautiful magenta hammock.”

There’s only so much organ you can play for Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin before you’ve got to move on to perfecting your spicy shrimp recipe…”

You weren’t getting out of this without cuff bears.”

“Then you’ll just sort of walk around and applaud yourself for being better at walking around shops than everyone else.”


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