Gold Rush

Gold Rush

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Please, sit down. Before we begin, you’ll need this—splendorous visual evidence that what’s detailed below actually exists. Take a peek. Gape, if gaping comes naturally. And then, because words alone will not suffice, direct your attention to our numerical guide to The Golden Tiki, now open all night in Chinatown… 22: Libations on the bar’s menu, from Painkillers to a treasure chest containing Veuve Clicquot and Jamaican rum. Approximately 500: Gallons of water between the waterfall and the fountain in the lava-rock cave entrance. Yes, there’s a lava-rock cave. Over 2,000: LED stars and fireworks illuminating the ceiling, which also imitates tropical storms. 2: Ideal number of humans on the giant clamshell love seat. Obviously. 6: Grapefruits lining a shelf in an ode to Hunter S. Thompson, whose very own pocketknife is also on display. 60+: Shrunken skulls depicting Wayne Newton, Nicolas Cage and other Vegas icons. 691: Words in “The Legend of the Golden Tiki,” a lurid prequel to the bar involving a merchantman named William Tobias Faulkner, a fabled destination called Skull Island and a madness-inducing golden idol. 1: Animatronic skeletons of William Tobias Faulkner. Spoiler alert?

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